To fall in love with something is easy. A flit of passion, a single spark, a lighting bolt of inspiration is all it takes to capture the attention of the heart. It can strike any moment and if you’re like me-with passion seemingly thread into your DNA-this falling can happen often and vibrantly in any season.
The flames come easy but the consistent burn…
That is where the struggle lies.
Living fire takes work.
You have to feed it.
Stir it up.
Foster the present embers in order to bring forth the heat that will chase away all cold.
But what do you do if the fire burns out?
When you feel like you’ve lost that flame and not even a spark remains?
This fading fire seems to be campfire I am huddled close to.
Uninspired by my work, frustrated that what I create is not what my mind imagines and generally in the all to common “rut” I think most artists come to on their journey.
How do I return to the familiar place I knew and loved?
The place where art sang to my heart and just the thought of it brought joy to my soul?
Writing this down I believe I have named my block.
The struggle has been to “get back”.
I have been cricking my neck trying to catch a glimpse of past peaks instead of facing forward.
Forward is ugly.
Ahead of me lies the sludge of resistance.
Questions of worth, constant onslaughts of doubt and uncertainty, compose the mush that marks the trail I need to tread. The one that marks the trail I must traverse.
Twisting my gaze towards my ash ridden fire pit I can only make the decision to press.
To clean out the left-overs and forge anew. Build something new. Maybe some of the old will remain and intertwine with the new.
Maybe some will be rekindled and my phoenix will arise.
However that looks I know this path is the one I must walk.
I start with the same tools I began with.
A camera on my shoulder, a trusty lens in my hand.
Letting doubt and worry fall aside to shoot just for me.
Not just to remember but to once again feel the joy of art.
Shooting in the purity that flows freely when you love something without agenda.
Without the need to prove or defend the finished product.
Oh, keep me in this place Lord. A place of peace and purity for the callings and gifting on my life.That all I do would be for love and freely given to the world around me.
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