My sweet Cali girl,

This morning is filled with a hollow emptiness. A tangible void in our home without your sweet self to fill it and I don’t know if it will quite ever the same. Your giant presence has left a giant absence in our hearts, a vacancy that reflects not just your dinosaur size but the giant heart within that loved us with fervent loyalty every day.

My ears hear a phantom “thump thump thump” of your boney tail, signaling your excitement for a “treat snack”, a pet, walk or just in response to our voice. They replay the wordy conversations we used to have. How you would welcome us home with mixed barks of excitement at our return, disdain that we had the gall to leave you behind in the first place, and scolding that we better not do it again, (yet forever forgiving us if we did).

  My eyes still see your old soul brown eyes staring back at me with understanding and affection. Memories of your eyebrows raising up when you were to tired to lift your head but still pinned your attention to your family. Aware of everyone in the house (including your furry brothers) and completely content to be in the center of it all.

  I feel the brush of you large four legged body edging backwards to sit on me (anyone really) with complete disregard to your size or the fact that most times I was standing.  Or the way you would back your booty up to the couch, convinced you were human enough to sit like one and join us for movie time.

I miss how you would rest your head on our leg, the couch, chair arm (anything that would hold your head) when it was time for dinner. Head heavy and body wiggling with the sway of your expectant tail wag.

Walks were your second favorite time of day. Walks that were leash free because by our side was the only place you wanted to be and that heart bond was tie enough.

You truly were a gentle giant baby. Proof is in your choice of besties. Always choosing the small ones as your favorite. Ones you could fit in your mouth to give “massages” of love.  The little ones you would play with ever so gently, aware of the potential damage you could unknowingly inflict but that never happened.

That a dog could be so big but so gentle and kind was truly beautiful. Your perpetual puppy demeanor combined with your oversized everything made you a favorite with anyone who was blessed to meet you.

You were the best companion a girl could ask for. Constant through every deployment and TDY. Making sure I was safe, providing that extra bit of love and a hearty laugh when I most needed it.

When your body aged and our walks around the field ceased you remained content to be by our side. Keeping up conversations and soaking in our outdoor time together. Giving every day and not thinking of cost.

Loyal, loving and selfless till the very end. That is why this loss hits so hard. It is the pain of letting go and saying goodbye to all of the sweet parts that made up your puppy heart. Our family is better because you were part of it sweet Cali girl and our family feels your absence in a profound way.

I know you are in heaven galloping with your giraffe like leaps, splashing through waves in your clumsy Great Dane way, sitting on my dads lap in complete content and having full conversation with Jesus. I know your life has truly just begun and I if I’m honest I’m jealous they get to love on you now.

You were wildly loved my sweet pup and I honestly don’t know who loved the other better.

Run Free Forever my Love Dog.

Mommy will see you again.