One foot up, the other down.

Repeat.

This motion carries me along a path.

Different speeds depending on the day, the weather, my emotions…but the direction is the same. 

Pressing onward, through the unknown, into dreams.

Around a corner. Up one more hill.

On my rocky path a figure appears.

A brooding shape, tall and still. Blending with shadow.

Blinking my eyes I dissipate the presence I thought I saw.

Pressing on trees begin to replicate.

Familiar rocks and stumps line my way and my next step finds my foot fitting perfectly in an old footprint.

Nostalgically I soak in this scene. The vision over this hill is a painting I just saw. Exactly like the one before, it might be the same. 

These scenes flip before my eyes like an old phone catalog. Spinning endlessly, repeating and unchanging.

My increased pace pushing this hamster wheel to spin at top rotation.

Caught in this twirling season I see the figure once more.

Accusing.

Pointing towards me, or past, to ground I already conquered.

Dirt already tread.

Past lessons learned.

Her shadowy finger stays, a  challenge to my victory.

“I thought this season was done.”

Finished. It was banished, never to return and I am ready for the new.

Winter melting its welcome to Spring and Oh, how I am ready for that great thaw.

These repeated steps and unimaginable fate.

My heart pauses in question as flowers turn in, folding smaller. Shrinking away from the sun they should be pressing towards.

I resist this return. Tensing at the thought of once again living out those dry times I thought I left behind. My heart wrestles with this familiar setting that screams I am still there…

My soul aches for spring.

The sun.

The bloom of new life.

The rush of fresh water.

The spoils of my war season.

When your past shows up in your present….

When you glance up the road, the road leading you towards bloom, and blocking your way in the middle of your path is your past.

Provoking you.

Outlining your history with accusatory menace.

Daring you to challenge her…

Images swirl in her frame, ominous and threatening with their blame. I lift my eyes and face my past.

Approaching slowly I feel my initial fear begin its slide down my spine. Each step loosing the shawl that has come untied with movement of my limbs.

In her I see the dark of war.

My old battle grounds rest in her shadows.

Memories of old nemesis reduced to rubble.

The remnants of my former seasons.

She is history, a ruined city of overturned stone and destroyed structures 

but…

but there….

…in the left overs…glimmers of light and beauty.

This city of ruin whispers of a victor.

This long settled dust proof of victory.

I see the splendor of a war fought bravely and an enemy defeated completely.

This was my war ground.

This was my battle and my victory.

This is my past.

My history.

Looking into her shadow I see bright colored highlights interwoven through the lightless low tones. They swirl in master harmony. Painting a picture of my story with honestly and depth.

A trembling hand reaches out once more.

In excitement for change, I have left her behind. 

But where I am headed she must go; for to travel without her is to not only leave ruin behind but also my victory.

To travel without her is to travel without hope.

Hope that this city in my heart can be renewed.

It can be remade.

It will be remade.

These ashes, with one breath of Spring, thaw and bloom into something new.

I am a series of seasons and  forgetting the dark nights (any attempt to run from the ruins of my war) will only leave me a shattered traveler.

She and I are one and where I am headed she too longs to travel.

I reach my present hand and towards hers.  Inhaling memories both kind and not.

Grasping my past so I may walk towards future…whole and full of hope.

 

Models: Marcos Antonio Vasquez & Sydney Pettit

Makeup: Kristie Wilson

Hair: Lexie Humphreys

 

Marcos & Sydney,

You guys are simply incredible. Never ever have I been around two people who display their inner hearts with movement like you do. 

The connection you guys have with your body and soul is something brightly unique and honestly during the shoot I had to remember to shoot and not just stop & watch the beauty you guys created through dance.

Till our next adventure.

Michelle