The numbers around my clock remain one through twelve yet the pause between each tick seems to last far longer than a second. As if someone pushed space between the tiny slash marks forcing the second hand to travel twice as far and at a pace the tortoise could set.
There are still 24 hours in the clock and they still mark the beautiful sunrises and good night settings. But from the all too familiar walls of our homes these times seem to mark our confinement more than outline our freedom.
Like most of you I have been riding the emotional waves of this confinement. Enjoying the flexible schedule that is now mine to make and in the next breath longing for some forced appointment or meeting that will give me something concrete to measure my days by. Journaling and reading to my hearts content then perusing social media because I crave a social outlet.
Every now and then fear rears its ugly head.
Fear of potential pain.
Potential threats that may lead to pain or harm.
Most of these “potentials” are and will remain potential; some may be realized, but all of them (their actual realized form) truly unknown. Unknown because we just don’t know.
I don’t know and I don’t like it.
I don’t know what will happen.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I do know some things and these things are what I’m pressing into.
Even more than WHAT I know, is WHO I know.
Who am I leaning on? Who is important in these times and WHO am I running to in all this unknown?
Aside from my family and friends (who are and continue to be lifelines for this extraverted heart), I have been running to my Heavenly Father. Running to Him and keeping it real with my questions, laying down my fears and inviting Him into every day.
In this invitation I hear Holy Spirit whisper Psalm 27. I’ve read this before, it’s a beautiful Psalm. One where David, in his raw poetic way, writes of his real life hardships and then answers all with the truth of WHO God is. Though “armies besieging” and “war breaking out,” God is his refuge and shelter. I am encouraged how David sees God- who God is to David. But what was most powerful was the Holy Spirit whisper: “He got it right.”
“What? What do you mean?” I reply.
“David, was right. I AM all he says I am in this Psalm. Will you read it again, from Me to you?”
Re-reading this Psalm as a letter from my Heavenly Papa, one where every poetic expression is read as a matter of fact observation of His character and heart for me. Where the reality of His good good heart is expressed in each verse. Where the plainness of His affection, the power and openness of His active love towards us, is seen in each sentence.
These words breathe life into my soul.
At once I am at peace, with Peace.
The uncertainty of the pandemic is still there. News channels are still spewing contradicting reports. People are battling for their lives.
Life, as we know it, is still upended in chaos but I am with the One who grants peace in the storm.
I am with the One who is always there and still on His throne.
I am at rest because of WHO my Heavenly Father is.
Because of His crazy love.
Because of His vibrant affection.
Because I am safely hidden in the secret places with Him. Finding comfort in His goodness and choosing to be ok with my unanswered questions, because the knowledge of what I do know about Him is more than enough.
From the Father to you.
1 I am your revelation-light guiding you along the way; the source of your salvation defending you every day.
Fear no one!
I’ll always surround and protect you. (Even if you run)
2. When evil comes to destroy you, they will be the ones who turn back.
3. I am there for you, so even if an army rises to attack don’t let your heart be afraid. You will not be shaken.
4. I wish that you would crave one thing, one thing above all else: That you would walk out the privilege of living every moment with me in my house. Enjoying the intimacy dwelling face to face, letting the beauty of my face (countenance) and glory and grace fill your heart with awe. Living so close to me you can feel my pleasure towards your prayers.
5-6. In the day of trouble would you run to me. I’ll hide you in holiness and such you away in my secret place where I’ll keep you safe and secure. Out of reach from all your enemies. Your triumph is now so don’t hesitate to bring Me your offerings of praise. I love your singing and shouts of joy. Listen…I hear your praises even now.
7. I hear your cry and will show you My grace and mercy. I will send the help you need!
8. When I told you to “Seek my face” I heard your inner being respond “I am seeking your face with all my heart”
9. When you come to find Me I will not hide from you. I’m the God of your salvation. I’ll never reject you in anger. Let Me be your only Hope because I will never forsake you, especially when you need Me.
10. Though your father and mother abandon you and you feel like an orphan, know I have taken you in and made you Mine.
11. I will teach you about My ways and show you what to do. Even in the chaos of being surrounded enemies lying in wait, I will make My way easy to understand.
12. I see the accusations and plots against you and I will not let them defeat you or allow you to fall into their clutches.
13. Trust Me to rescue you, one more time, so you can see again how good I am while you walk this earth.
14.Through it all I hope you learn…
Don’t ever give up; Don’t be impatient.
Find yourself so enter-twined with Me we become beautifully united as one.
Be brave and courageous.
Never lose hope.
Yes, keep on waiting – because I WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT YOU.